Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
