is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
