if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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