I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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