Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
