I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
