Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
