party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
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Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
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Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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