if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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