yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
