Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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