That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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