So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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