i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
