4 words: hood of his car
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
