My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My cat gives me a boner
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why do cheetos always look like penises
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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