i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
