he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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