Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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