I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
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OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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