So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
