This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
