Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
