i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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