Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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