its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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