I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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