yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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