I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
