That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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