I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
