Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
