I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
