for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
