Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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