You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize