Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
