New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
