we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
