i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish they made helmets for livers.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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