You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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