Apparently you make a good broom.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
