His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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