You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
