Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
