i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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