dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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