New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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