Kiss
Puke
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel great
I just peed on a car
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
