I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
