Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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