I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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