Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
