You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
