one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize