You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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