He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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