You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
