I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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