I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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