I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
