Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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