I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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